Humidity is just New Jersey’s way of spitting in your face: ‘Welcome home, bitch!’
0913hrs – in case of emergency, locate the nearest Boy Scout
0917hrs
TSA Agent: “Cheer up Bud, you’re going home.”
Me: “…but I’m going to New Jersey…”
0933hrs
Typical: The first guy I see in two weeks wearing a smedium Tapout T-Shirt has to be on the flight to Newark..
0949hrs
Does this look like a face that’s inviting you to sit down and talk to me about your kid’s soccer team while waiting for your flight? What, Tyler really is the best 13-year-old in your town? And there are pictures on your iPad!
1008hrs
The lady next to me just asked me if I think anyone looks suspicious. I answered, “everyone’s hiding something’.; she just got up and left..
1015hrs
According to the Internet, there are job openings in California and Colorado…
1018hrs
“Attention passengers flying to Omaha, we can’t seem to find your plane right now so you will be slightly delayed. We thank you for your patience.”
1023hrs
Dear God, please don’t make me sit next to the pregnant lady!
Welcome to New Jersey…
1804hrs
First time in seven (7) years we lost electricity at our house. It’s a sign!